Oliver Burkeman
Interview by Madeleine Dore
This week's guest has spent the last few years delving into the topic of limitations through researching and writing his latest book on time.
Oliver Burkeman is a British author and journalist living in Brooklyn. He writes a popular weekly column for The Guardian on social psychology, productivity and the science of happiness, called This Column Will Change Your Life and is the author of The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking.
In this conversation, we delve into how he has moved through a rut from the book writing process, how goals can become redundant very quickly, the Kanban method, self-control and distraction, parenting, shadow working, insomnia, the difficulty of doing nothing and how we can get out of a rut by breaking our own rules.
Oliver Burkeman: author and journalist
““What you’re doing in the next hour is much more in tune with reality than planning even what you’re going to do with the next week, let alone the next month or year.””
Shownotes
01:50
Our one precious life – It’s no small feat to figure out what we want to do with our one life that we’re given. It’s impossible to do everything, but instead of letting this be a negative thing, turn it into a positive by using it to drive you towards the things that make you the happiest.
03:24
This weeks’ guest – Oliver Burkeman is an author and a journalist and is working on a weekly column in The Guardian and also has written a book called The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking. He focuses on the topics of social psychology, productivity, and the science of happiness, and is now writing another book.
05:15
Book writing process – Although you may have an idea for a book when you first start writing, allow space for change and discoveries along the way. Let it form naturally, even if it differs from your original intentions. Oliver discusses the book that he’s currently writing called Time Management for Mortals.
09:33
Accepting our limitations – Although it’s against our natural instinct, accept the fact that we can’t do it all. Humans are limited and can only accomplish and do so many things with the time that we’re given. If you do attempt to do too much, it will only mean that you won’t be able to dedicate enough time to the things that really matter to you.
14:32
Achieving goals or intentions – There are two types of goal setting: one to control the future and one that’s a statement of intentions. You might expect to reach a specific goal and have the best-case scenario in mind, but you don’t actually have the goal, only the intentions for it. But anything can happen, and things always take longer than you plan, which is important to remember when you’re trying to achieve these goals.
17:39
Live in the moment – Setting yourself goals for one years’ time, five years’ time, or even ten years’ time will often become intolerable within a week because you’re no longer responding to the moment or doing what makes you happy. Instead you’re being bossed around by your past self to follow a prearranged map.
19:59
Flexible routines – A perfect routine may exist, but it may not always be possible to follow. If needed, alter your routine to fit around other important things in your life. Focus on accomplishing tasks in general, rather than when you’ll accomplish them. Don’t make yourself feel like a failure because you prioritise things differently.
26:09
Track and experiment ideas – Thoughts and ideas constantly pop into your head when you’re a creative, and it’s important to keep track of these so you don’t forget them. Use a notebook, or even use an app for convenience. If possible, gauge responses and get feedback from a smaller audience before introducing ideas to a larger one. Don’t be afraid to try new things.
32:20
Kanban method – This method allows you to organise visually, but it also makes sure that you don’t overload yourself with tasks, which is very easily done. It allows you to focus on certain things and can help to pull you through a rut. This method encourages you to finish what you started and forces you to create realistic, manageable goals.
38:23
Self-control – There are so many distractions in the world today, with the biggest and most tempting being social media. We often use distractions to flee from something, such as a problem or a difficult project, so if you acknowledge this and accept that everything can’t always be bliss, then it’ll help you keep control and move forward.
40:58
Coordinating routines – Oliver speaks about the difficulties of coordinating his schedule and routine with those of his partner and his child. Both emotional and physical complexities are added in when extra people are involved, and it’s important to find a balance between them all. Share the work equally and help to pick up the slack when one person might be lacking it.
45:22
Fighting insomnia – If you struggle to sleep, try to take away all “quick fixes”. Tell yourself that you’re okay with being up and that it won’t ruin your upcoming day. Having control and being calm in this situation will let your brain rest and will not cause anxiety, meaning falling asleep will be easier in the end.
50:15
Beating a rut – Realise that you can only do so much, and don’t expect yourself to do more than you can cope with. Some things take a long time, and it’s easy to underestimate how long this might be. Instead of setting unrealistic expectations, embrace things as they change. Be okay with where you are and go along with it.
52:59
Know when to stop – Stop when the going is good, even though it’s hard to stop when you’re flowing, and you might feel guilty for doing so. It’s better to stop when you’re feeling good and when you’re on a high, so that you don’t resent the task next time you go back to it.
Findings
Oliver Burkeman – Twitter
The Guardian – Oliver Burkeman
The Antidote: Happiness for People Who Can’t Stand Positive Thinking – by Oliver Burkeman
Already Free by Bruce Tift
The Moves That Matter by Jonathan Rowson
The Summer Day by Mary Oliver
Raptitude – David Cain's newsletter
Ten year plan exercise – Debbie Millman
Already Free by Bruce Tift
Braintoss app
Kanban method
Self Control app
The Moves That Matter by Jonathan Rowson
Why do we feel so busy? It’s all our hidden ‘shadow work’ – article by Oliver Burkeman
Oliver Burkeman on not having a routine – notes from our previous conversation