Kylie Lewis
Interview by Madeleine Dore
For Kylie Lewis, knowing we are enough permeates everything she does.
Kylie Lewis is a coach, consultant, and Certified Dare to Lead™ and Certified Daring Way™ Facilitator, based on the research of Brené Brown. Her interview series turned book, The Leap Stories explores how there’s no single path to success and no formulaic way to conjure the courage to take a first or next step toward a fulfilling work life.
In this conversation, we talk about navigating our days imperfectly, how it’s normal to have ‘horizontal days, taking it one moment at a time, self-compassion, collective vulnerability, boundaries during this time, comparison, and aiming for enough.
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Kylie Lewis: Coach, creative business consultant & author
““Everyone’s having trouble thinking straight right now, and we’re all trying to hold onto routines when we actually need to realise that we need new ones, and to be really gentle with ourselves in the process of trying to establish them.””
Shownotes
02:39
What is enough? – Madeleine often asks herself this question, and she looks to Brene Brown’s description of the word sufficient to answer it. It’s not measured in an amount, but it’s knowing that we are enough.
04:46
Unprecedented routine – With the world in limbo at the moment, Kylie doesn’t feel as if she has a firm grasp on anything and is just going with the flow, listening to her energy, and making sure that all needs are being taken care of. This may be helping her children, helping her community, or having a horizontal day.
07:34
Typical routine – When Kylie first become self-employed, she relished in the idea of not having to keep to a rigid schedule, but she soon realised that having some sort of routine actually sets you free. Because of this, Kylie tries to stick to a morning routine of attending an early exercise class then follows up with a visit to her favourite café, where she catches up on the news and has a peak at social media.
10:46
Self-compassion – It’s important to give ourselves self-compassion and to realise that we’re not alone. Everybody faces difficult times and it’s okay to feel that there’s no right or wrong, it’s okay to just be in the moment, and it’s okay to not feel productive right now.
11:50
Vulnerability – Vulnerability is often looked at as a weakness, but it should be looked at as a strength. There is no courage and there is no bravery without vulnerability, and the only way to build up courage and bravery is through trying, learning, having a go, and getting back up if you fall.
16:40
Kylie’s start – Kylie originally took psychology and sociology in university and dove straight into the world of technology afterwards, around the time when the internet became a big thing. She worked as a digital strategist for a long time before being given the opportunity to become a coach and a facilitator, which she immediately knew was her calling.
20:33
Taking the leap – Kylie’s journey into becoming a coach and a facilitator wasn’t an easy one. She experienced delays, obstacles, and setbacks, but she kept pushing through until she could eventually take the leap and start her new career, although that’s not to say that she didn’t have any wobbles after taking the leap.
27:15
Acknowledging the new normal – Everybody is experiencing a new normal at the minute, and nobody knows how to handle it, so you’re not alone. It’s important to figure out what you have control over and use that to anchor yourself during these unknown times and adapt and create new routines without putting pressure on yourself.
30:35
Establish boundaries – While in lockdown, Kylie and her family are setting boundaries by creating daily and weekly checklists. They keep each other accountable for them and help each other to make sure that everybody accomplishes some things from the list on a daily basis, whether it’s having a shower or doing some exercise.
33:06
Give yourself a break – It’s easy to feel like you should fill every minute of every day with something productive, even when we’re not going through a global pandemic. Kylie discusses how it’s important to step back and to give yourself some time off to rest and recover and to not put too much pressure on yourself to always be doing something.
39:32
You are enough – Know how much time and effort you can put into something and don’t push yourself past those limits. Whatever you do is enough and is unique to you. Kylie stresses the importance of the difficult life lesson of knowing that you can’t please everybody, and that’s okay. Don’t compare yourself to others and do the best that you can do.
45:24
Phone a friend – If you’re procrastinating, it may be because you’re overthinking. Talk it out with a trusted friend. Saying something out loud may help things to fall into place or may keep you accountable. It may put you in a vulnerable position, but it may help pull you through to the other side. Remember that you don’t always have to shoot for perfection. Good enough is just fine.
Findings
Kylie Lewis website
The Leap Stories by Kylie Lewis
Brene Brown website
Dare to Lead by Brene Brown
Daring Way by Brene Brown
Ted Talk website
The Power of Vulnerability Ted Talk by Brene Brown
Daring Greatly book by Brene Brown
Rising Strong book by Brene Brown
Leonard Cohen website
The Power of Full Engagement by Jim Loehr and Tony Schwartz
Tim Loehr website
““That self-compassion to recognise that we need to be able to be kind to ourselves, particularly when things are hard. We need to recognise that all these difficulties that we’re also facing, and the things that we’re feeling, are common to being a human being.””