Luke Currie-Richardson

Interview by Madeleine Dore

Luke Currie-Richardson: Storyteller

Full transcript

“I don’t need to be the best against anybody else.  I don’t need to be the best for anybody else but myself and if I get a role or if I get anything, it’s because I’ve given my all. I’m not doing what I do to compete with people.” – Luke Currie Richardson

Madeleine: They say that comparison is the thief of joy.  Not only can comparing ourselves make us feel behind in life, but it also rids us of the ability to relish our successes when they do arrive.  Rather than congratulating yourself for an accomplishment or for finishing a project, we can be too busy looking ahead of what someone else might be doing.  We end up getting caught on this endless treadmill of feeling like we need to do more and more, but never actually stopping to enjoy the satisfaction of feeling like we’ve got somewhere, that we’ve arrived.

What we’re doing when we compare ourselves to other people is measuring our internal experiences and thoughts with someone else’s polished external self, and what we end up with is just an approximation of someone else’s success.  In other words, we’re not actually comparing apples with oranges.

I grapple with comparison, and it’s probably been my biggest block but also my biggest driver in terms of this project.  Over the years, it’s beginning to soften.  I’ve found one of the greatest antidotes to be turning my attention to doing the work that is actually creating the comparison in the first place.

So, to start, it can help to figure out what you want, and your comparison can actually be what gives the clue.  In other words, the more you know what you really want and where you’re heading, the less it actually matters what everyone else is doing.  Once we have that inkling of what we want, that clue, and we start taking action, we can actually turn out attention to doing our best at that thing.  When we do this, when we put the blinders on, so to speak, and apply our attention to giving it our best, we begin to celebrate other people’s successes, rather than feeling like we need to diminish our own.

This weeks’ guest has long sought inspiration from other people’s career trajectories.  Luke Currie Richardson sees it as a motivator for doing his best, rather than seeing it as a competition or source of comparison.  In his own words, he might not know what he’s doing for a living, but he knows why he wakes up in the morning.

From 2012 to 2018, Luke Currie Richardson was a company dancer in Bangarra Dance Theatre.  He has since hosted a short Buzzfeed documentary called Pay the Rent on the idea of citizen reparations paid to Indigenous Australians as an ongoing compensation and acknowledgement of colonisation.  He’s also a model, a sessional teacher, poet, photographer, and role model, but then what doesn’t matter so much as the umbrella of being a storyteller.  For Luke, irrespective of the medium, the why remains the same and that is to be the best ancestor he can be for all generations.

This approach proves that being the best is a term of your own making and your own measure.  In this conversation, we delve further into this idea of it not being what you do, but the way that you do it, never getting the loss of work during this time,  his thoughts and routine being more about priorities than rigid structures, the toxicity of sayings such as the ‘the show must go on’ and ‘fake it till you make it’, the power of asking for help and taking care of your mental health, and knowing when to walk away from something, even if it was once your dream.

Given how doing our best can vary day-to-day, here is Luke on how he’s doing today.

Luke Currie-Richardson: Today’s actually a great day.  Had a whole heap of things to do and all the rest overwhelming to how I’ve been other days, so I got to get out of the house a bit just for a few essentials and saw a friend briefly who I need to buy something off, and I was like okay sweet, so I got to have a little bit of an interaction face-to-face while a safe distance away.  But it was nice to be out of the house.

MD: So, a better day in comparison to what has been happening, for those who might not be familiar with your work, you once described it as you might not know what you do for a living, but you know why you do it.

LC: Yeah.

MD: Could you explain a little bit behind that and how that kind of encapsulates?

LC: For a long time, I was a dancer with Bangarra Dance Theatre, and I don’t know, I feel like being boxed in as a dancer restricted me from what else I did out there.  Photography, videography, poetry, a whole range of other things, and I guess the western term is a multi-disciplined artist.  But even that comes with all these other preconceived ideas of what that entails and, for me as an Indigenous creative, I just thought storyteller, and that encompasses everything. 

And it wasn’t what I did with whatever platform it was for, it was why I did it, and it was for my people, and it was for the further empowerment of my ancestral knowledge and identity as an Indigenous man in this country right now.  So it wasn’t so much of what I do for a living ‘cause I still haven’t found what I do, especially in these day and ages, but I know what I do it for and I know why I wake up in the morning.

MD:  Yeah, I think that’s so powerful for anyone to really tap into the why, because the what can be so tenuous.  As these times are showing, so many people are having to adapt and deal with their whole careers or their businesses disappearing before them, and I’m wondering, you’re quite open in the fact that you’re obviously an independent artist and with that has come a loss of a lot of opportunities and contracts.  It would be great to hear more about that, but also maybe how the why… is it helping you stay intact during this time?

LC: Yes and no.  It’s definitely the tough part. When it comes to the western world of having to pay bills and just the idea of losing jobs that are out of your control is very disheartening, but then, on the other hand, knowing that it’s not only you… and so in the boat you know you’ve got a hole, I guess a Titanic metaphor, you’ve got a whole heap of people going down with you as well.  That in itself is kind of, in a dark way, reassuring.

Yeah, I think for me just the ‘why’ is always there.  It drives everything.  It’s not even, regardless of me creating, it’s me how I carry myself in public, if I wake up in the morning, what am I doing today to make sure I’m doing the best I can as an Indigenous man?  Another saying that I have is to be the best ancestor I can be for the future generations and just to know that I carry myself to the best of my abilities day in, day out, so I can be that best ancestor or the best role model that is.

Jobs come and go and unfortunately there’s no point in me being upset or being so disheartened about these lost opportunities because it’s out of everybody’s control, but as long as I wake up every morning knowing I’ve given my all, whatever that is, any given day, I can go to sleep happy and content.

MD: So I guess in terms of the lost opportunities that you’re dealing with at the moment and given that you are so used to having an audience for your work, an in-person audience, what’s it like on a day-to-day? How are you navigating it?

LC: Difficult.  It is difficult from a work perspective.  It is hard.  Yesterday I woke up, I had breakfast, thought about what I’m going to do, and I went back to sleep till two o’clock in the afternoon.  I just had absolutely all energy drained out of me and absolutely rocked me.  Woke up at two and then I had all this motivation to go again, I was like okay, here we go.

MD: It’s so taxing.  I’m finding it hard to find energy as well, and maybe that’s what we do need to do some days, just know that we’ll be sleeping till two and we might find the energy later.

LC: I think that’s okay.  We’re stuck on this traditional work hours of nine to five and sometimes you’ve got to beat the horse until it’s getting anything productive out of it, and it’s not really… let’s just take a moment here, and I think this is what’s happening right now, we’ve all got to reevaluate our lives.  Is there more efficient ways to work?  And I think, as an independent artist, it’s natural that our schedules are quite different, but yesterday was a big eye-opener for me.  I was like, all right, ready for the day, eat breakfast, nothing happening, sleep till two.

And then all this energy and these ideas started coming, I was like okay, here we go, bang, bang, bang, get on this, call a mate to test this out, and everything, and the next thing you know it was ten o’clock.  I was like oh my god, I need to eat.

MD: Yeah, just goes to show how powerful rest can be.  So, if you’ve lost big contracts and gigs, what do you think you’ll do?

LC: No idea at the moment, which is… I’m taking it day-by-day.  I’m still waiting for my call from Centrelink, but like a lot of artists, it doesn’t really work for our benefits.  I was quite lucky that I’m pretty good with money beforehand so I’ve got a bit of savings there, which can last me maybe another month or two, but we’ll see.  I’ve got a great support cast around me and people offering little jobs here and there.  I’m still at the point where I’ve had to turn down jobs, people asking me to go film stuff out in communities around elders and me living in the middle of Sydney, not knowing if I have any of the symptoms or hidden symptoms.  It’s just like I can’t risk being around Indigenous elders or other people in a work environment, even though I need the money that desperately.

Again, it’s a day-by-day thing and I tend not to worry too much about the money factor.  It’s something that will get me caught up and maybe heighten the anxiety, but definitely it’s there.  It’s in the back of everybody’s mind, you know?  It’s daunting, but it’s not a priority at the moment.  It’s just take one day at a time.  It’s a new time we’re in, it’s unprecedented times.  I’ve got offered two jobs already that are both online, so I’m like okay, that’s not the same amount of money that I’ve lost, but it’s adding to the little piggy bank here, so it’s just chipping away, chipping away, and chipping away, and trying to keep that positive mindset that I’m going to be okay.  I’m going to struggle, but I’m going to be okay.

MD: Yes, and acknowledging both, I think, is powerful.  Thank you.  So, the idea of you sleeping in till 2pm is such a contrast to when I last spoke to you a couple of months ago.  You were waking up, I think it was 4:30 or 5.

LC: Yeah, 5 to be in the gym at 5:30.

MD: Yeah, I think my favourite part of the interview was how you had your first breakfast, which was eight to nine wheat pancakes, bananas, blueberries, strawberries, coconut milk, and then a little bit later you’d have your second breakfast of a three-egg omelette with stacks of chilli flakes.  So, I’d love to hear whether, aside from yesterday, and obviously we all have days that go off track, are you still a morning person?  Have you maintained that post you finishing up with Bangarra?

LC: No, I haven’t actually.  Not those 5 o’clock mornings, no, especially since all this stuff has happened.   I’m still a gym person, I’d rather go the gym in the morning, but my mornings 8 o’clock now, 8:30, 9:30 at the latest, and I’ll have to be in the gym before it hits 12.  That’s usually the hectic period at the gym I go to.  But yeah, I’ve definitely moved away from those early, early mornings, those 5 o’clock mornings.  There was no point for me now. 

The reason I was waking up that early was because I had to be at a 9 to 5 job or whatever time we were working then, so to get my gym session in I would’ve had to either do it then or after work.  I do miss those 5 o’clock mornings sometimes, just the peace and serenity in the city.  Usually it’s a chaotic city here in Sydney.  It’s really nice and calming.  It’s probably like that every day now.

MD: I’ve always wondered what the secret is to being a morning person and, aside from people who, I don’t know, are rare breeds that can just wake up naturally early, I think that the only secret is actually external accountability, and that’s, I guess, maybe showing that now you’ve found your maybe more natural rhythm. 

LC: Yeah, definitely, but I don’t think I have a rhythm.  That’s another scary thing.  I think at the moment, the work that comes in justifies what my routine is day in, day out.  Do I need to be awake for a 9 o’clock meeting or whatever it may be?  Sure, I have to be up here, so then I’ll wake up a little bit earlier.  Do I have anything set till afternoon, or do I have anything set at all?  Mm, not really.  Or what would I like to accomplish?  So it all varies with my own personal goals and also if there’s any work on as well.  That’s what kind of changes it all.

MD: It can be really great to just kind of embrace as each day changes rather than having to have this rigid routine.  I definitely don’t have that.

LC: It’s nice.  It’s a nice kind of flow and it’s a little bit more natural.  But I kind of do miss that structure.  I do miss that structure.  I grew up with structure and I kind of do miss that day set out for me, so maybe I might go back into that sooner or later, but we’ll see.

MD: Maybe the grass is always greener.  When we don’t have routine, we crave it, when we have it…

LC: Always.

MD: So what else would the flow look like then?  Obviously it’s ever-changing and, especially at the moment, it’s day by day, but is there anything else that typically unfolds for you?

LC: No, not really.  A lot of independent’s are just trying to figure out how do we help out our own community?  How can we collaborate and how can we make this work to our benefit?  So it’s interesting seeing everyone beforehand was on social media, but now it’s just like, for some reason, everyone’s uploading their workouts and now everyone’s uploading their food, everyone’s vying for either this community feeling that we’ve lost now that we aren’t within our workspaces or they’re vying for this attention that we can’t get from being physically together.

A lot of my stuff via videos and poetry and photography come out through that, and just to help the Indigenous community with their empowerment, and I’ve just kind of felt that, oh, everyone’s kind of doing this now, so how do I make this different?  Everyone’s doing these live chats on Instagram lives that are just connecting people, or Facebook lives, of these little dancing in your living rooms.  I’m like oh man, okay, how do I try and change that?  So that’s another reason why today was a bit more exciting because I bought some more gear, I was like okay, here we go.  How do I do what I normally do with a difference?  Because everyone else is kind of diving into this realm now.

MD: I’d love to dive into your process with learning photography in a moment, but just on that note about seeing how many people are “pivoting” right now and turning things out online.  It can become quite overwhelming.  For me, the comparison feelings always bubble up. 

That’s probably my biggest block creatively, but actually something you said earlier about how it can be comforting that we’re all going down together, like the Titanic, but I remember so vividly when I spoke to you last time how you were really buoyed and almost you were lifted up by seeing the success of people around you and the people who are close to you.  Does that still inspire you?

LC: 100%. 100%. It’s the people that I surround myself with and their success, their drive that constantly fuels mine and the people that are putting X amount of content out there just constantly doesn’t mean that it’s successful, it just means that they’ve… doesn’t mean it’s executed properly in way, shape, or form.  It’s just a phone and it’s easily accessible and here we go, look at me now, bang.

I thrive off the success of the people around me and it’s something as simple as a theatre company that I work with, underdogs, they got approved for their four-year funding, and that in itself was just a feel-good moment that doesn’t really directly affect me, but knowing the people around and it just really fueled my… I was like okay, I need to do something now, let’s go, I need to create.  And then the next day I went to sleep again till 2 o’clock. [Laughs]

MD: But then you woke up really inspired.  You needed to put your unconscious to work.  I love that, I think that’s such a good flip for those comparison feelings, to see it as motivating rather than diminishing.

LC: It’s hard.  It’s definitely in a world where we are forever comparing ourselves via social media.  One of the things that caught me off was when I was asked to compete for roles at Bangarra and I was like, I just can’t.  I grew up competing playing basketball and stuff like that, but I don’t need to be the best against anybody else.  I don’t need to be the best for anybody else but myself.  If I get a role or if I get anything, it’s ‘cause I’ve given my all.  I’m not doing what I do to compete with people. 

Competing is such an ego-driven thing and it works for some people, I’m not saying it’s a bad thing, but for me, I create art not to be the best photographer against any other photographer or the best social media person or the best dancer.  I dance because I want to express myself and I dance because I want to do this and, if I can do a good duo with somebody or a good duet with a partner and we share that limelight, I’d rather that over a solo and take all that kind of accolades that go with it.

MD: I would like to go into, digging into that time a little bit, you were a dancer for Bangarra from 2012 to 2018 and you did share that you struggled with some mental health challenges during the last two years.  Given that this was something that was once your dream of doing, of dancing with that company, what was it like to then have that be the source of suffering?

LC: Yeah, it’s life.  You know, dreams change, everything kind of comes and goes, you know?  We once played with Barbie dolls and now we’re buying real dresses. We evolve, and dreams are allowed to change, and I think what people don’t realise, that’s okay.  You go into uni with a set dream coming out the other end, and you go through your four, five, six years, or whatever it may be, and your dream changes.  It’s like, well, you wanted to be this, and it’s like well, you know, that was four years ago, it’s changed now.

And I think that’s just kind of what happened with Bangarra as well, you know.  I loved dancing for so long, from 18 and I started contemporary dance and it became a business.  It became, toward the last couple of years, it became a real business.  Like it was just pumping out material for me personally.  I just became one of the pump.  It didn’t feel right and, when your happiness starts to be the second, it’s not your… your wellbeing is on the back burner to a production, and it’s the one thing I hate about the arts is the show must go on is one of the most toxic sayings in the theatre world, or in the art world, I believe because mental health, injuries, the dancers and performers’ wellbeing.  The show must go on puts the audience in charge, and that’s an absolute… that’s so terrible to think that this person that gives their blood, sweat, and tears, their wellbeing is put on the back burner just to appease and make box office or to make… the show can be cancelled, it’s okay.  People can get refunds, it’s okay.  It’s fine.

So just in that sense.  How did it feel?  At that time, it was the right decision for me to leave and there was no passion in it.  They’ve got a whole new crux of dancers that are loving their job and that’s what you want. You don’t want to be in a position taking the opportunity from the next generation, and that was the main thing for me.  I made the right decision, and it’s worked out up until COVID came around.

MD: I did wonder what you’ve learned about yourself or your own relationship with anxiety, and how that might manifest for you.

LC: I think one of the biggest things that I took from that was that if I don’t say yes… if it’s not a yes straight away, it’s a no.  So if you have to hum and ha about something, I’m just like no.  One of the biggest things that kind of, I think saying got me through is the wrong thing to say, you ebb and flow with this.  I know I have some of my days where I’m just absolutely just… some of my days, some of my weeks, you know?  I’m still in a rut.  I get into a rut and I’m like, here we go.  How do I deal with this?

For me, it’s knowing what my ancestors went through and my own people went through back in the day.  They went through all this heartache, this hardship, and in a sense, it pulls me out of how I’m feeling to an extent.  They were, to get dark again, they were hunted, they were murdered, they were massacred, and they fought for what I have today.  So things for me aren’t going well at work?  Okay, well, I’m here now.  How do I make the best of this opportunity?  We don’t like it, we leave.  You don’t feel like you’re being treated right within the certain environment?  You leave. 

That’s the way I deal with it.  I try and think about how I would like to approach someone from the next generation that are dealing with the same issues.  I want them to get help, so there was that last period when I was at Bangarra, I went and got help for the first time and it was a lot of weight off my shoulders, to go and talk to someone removed from the situation who isn’t your partner or isn’t your mum and dad.  Someone that will take on that emotional baggage for you, that’s not fair on them.  It’s someone where you can just go, and you talk, and you let it go and it’s okay.  It’s okay for… especially for men, you know?  The stigma for mental health within the men’s community, it’s like, it’s okay to ask for help. 

Another one, a terrible saying, is fake it to make it. Don’t fake anything.  Own that you don’t know it, own that you’re not okay, go and ask for help.  It’s okay not to win all the time, it’s okay not to be happy all the time, it’s okay not to know something.  It’s fine.  We’re all human.  It’s absolutely fine.  It’s tiring if you have to smile, like if you smile all the time and your cheekbones, you know when you laugh a lot and it’s like, aw man, I need to rest my face a bit.  Like, it’s okay.  Acknowledge that you’re sad, be sad, don’t sit in it for too long and, if you acknowledge that you are sitting in it for too long, go and talk to someone.  And that blew my mind, actually, when I spoke to this lady.

No, I knew that I was in a safe space.  I was like okay, well, I’m here, I’m committing.  I’m not going to hold back.  Whatever happens happens within these four walls.  I just need to say it, and when I think it’s coming out, it’s coming out, and this is what I’m here for, and I actually did feel a weight off my shoulders.  I came out and I was smiling, and it was just… I treated myself to a burger after that and I was just like, oh my god, what is going on?  It’s one of those cliché things, but it really did take a weight off my shoulders.

MD: You said earlier what drives you is to be the best ancestor you can be, and what was so beautiful about what you just said was how thinking about the trauma of your ancestor’s provides a perspective, even when you might be in the lowest of ruts.  Does it ever become a weight, to try to be the best ancestor that you can be, or to see that contrast?

LC: I’ve never really felt a weight of my responsibility because I can only do the best I can do, and that’s not up to anyone else to judge.  I had a disagreement, as an artist you set your price and people think it’s too much.  That’s not on anyone else to say, oh, that’s too much, you’re overpriced or whatever it is. My worth is my worth, and my effort is my effort, and no one else can actually judge that.  And I’ve actually come to terms with that.  So, I don’t have to live up to anyone else’s expectations if I know, at the end of the day or at the end of my time, I gave my all in that given day, and it might be I fell asleep straight after I ate breakfast, but I still gave it my all.  That was the energy I could give that day, that’s fine.

I don’t actually feel that weight and I try to live my life… what would I be disappointed in if my kids did this?  So, I try to, oh, I wouldn’t really want them to do that, maybe I’ll just… ah, nah, let’s not do that.  [Laughs]. So, I’m quite content and happy with what I do for a living.

MD: I don’t think anyone would ever accuse you of a boring life, would they?

LC: Not too sure, you know, a guy that doesn’t drink or party and stuff like that.  For some people, drinking and partying is all their life is, so maybe my life isn’t for everybody.

MD: You did describe yourself as a hermit last time we spoke, and I’m wondering if that’s still the case and how you’re feeling during this isolation?

LC: Yeah, I am still a hermit.  I’m an introvert and I had to argue with the professional about that one.  What was that test where you figure out that you’re an introvert?

MD: Myers-Briggs?

LC: That’s it, that’s the test I was talking about.  We had it with this work meeting and she was like, yeah, you can be both introvert and extrovert, and I was like that doesn’t make sense because I’m a performer, I’m such an extrovert in that sense, but then I’m an introvert.  But it’s like, do you like to talk to people?  And I was like, well, I have to talk to people, well, yes, I do, but I’d rather not as well. 

But through that test, I eventually found out, through my stubbornness, that I am in introvert and how am I going at the moment with that?  Look, some days I don’t get out of… well, I do get out of my pyjamas to shower, but I just jump straight back into my pyjamas.  I’ve been living for this moment to be not having to leave the house, but in saying that, I just wish jobs were a bit more free-flowing than they are now.  So, apart from the lack of work, this is life, the no excuse to leave the house is great.

MD: There are some definite silver linings.  It’s definitely the time for fellow introverts to shine and I feel like being able to say no to social things without any guilt has been amazing and maybe something I’ll take into post-COVID life.  I guess that’s something that you’re really keenly aware of, is not doing anything that you don’t necessarily want to do?

LC: Yeah, my energy is very precious to me.  I don’t give people my energy and I’m actually quite bad at remembering people’s names if I don’t think that I’ll ever see them again or that we’ll interact again.  I’m just absolutely shocking.  I just don’t invest energy where I don’t think it’s important and, for me, that’s a lot of aspects.

MD: And I guess it’s hard, you could get that one wrong, and someone could be your future boss.  [Laughs].

LC: That went wrong, it’s happened many a times.  Ahh, it’s just like we’ve met before, I’m sorry.

MD: Sorry, you weren’t important.  [Laughs].

LC: You’re important in your own way, but I just didn’t think you were useful to me at that point in my life.

MD:  Ah, that’s so funny.  Awful, but funny. 

LC: Terrible.

MD: So, Luke, I’d like to talk about what you are doing now, now that it’s a few years out of Bangarra, and you mentioned before that you do have a new focus on photography and I’d love hearing about how people go through the learning curve.  But you’re also doing sessional teaching, you’re doing advocacy, you did a documentary Pay the Rent through Buzzfeed.  What’s been driving the different projects you’re focusing on and how is this phase of learning?

LC: I had very specific people that I wanted to dance with, and I’ve been grateful enough to have worked with both those people in the timeframe that I’ve left.  I think what scares me is that people, maybe not so much now, but people tend to work one job, or in one field, and don’t experience anything else.  And so, for me, leaving, I was like yeah, okay, I’m good at dancing.  What else can I do?  What else is out there?  And basically what I wanted to do when leaving was to try as many things as possible to see if I’m good at them, to see if I’m terrible at them, and just to experience as much as possible while I can, while I’m still able-bodied and young and have that drive to want to learn new things.

I had a manager, they wanted to sign me straight out of Bangarra, and I was like, mm, you obviously think you can make money from me, what do you see me doing?  And the first thing they’ll say is I see you teaching workshops here, and I was like, I don’t want to dance.  I can see you auditioning for musicals, like I don’t want to be in shows, I’ve done that for the past seven years.  Well, what do you want to do?  I was like, well, that’s a little bit late now, you asked me too late.

And that was the thing.  I was like okay, well, what other platforms can I tell stories on?  So I’ve been lucky enough to act since 2018, since December 2018, act in a short film.  I’m a terrible actor.  I’ve been lucky enough to be given the opportunity to walk on a catwalk in Darwin Aboriginal Arts Fest up in Darwin.  Walk in a fashion show, like what the heck?  And yeah, photography now is just like… I don’t think with art you’re never not learning, even with dance or whatever.  You’re constantly learning with any art form. 

With photography, I follow in the footsteps of people like Barbara McGrady, we’ve got Joseph Mayers.  These Indigenous photographers that had documented a certain, and still are, documenting aspects of Indigenous contemporary culture in our time, and I was like, well, who was my generation?  Who’s documenting the protest from my point of view, from my generation’s point of view? 

We got the Vanessa Turnbull-Roberts out there, the that are our guest activists now and we’ve got our footy stars and so on and so forth, and I just really wanted to do my part in making sure I can document all aspects of contemporary Indigenous culture for my people, my generation, the ones that are following me as well, just to make sure that our story is being told through the black lens as well, not through The Daily Telegraph lens, not through the type of Murdoch newspaper media lenses that our story is being told through grassroots, blackfella eyes, blackfella camera, through my lens, the way I want to portray my people and the way I see my people.

Again, it’s still storytelling, so dancing, acting, even in a sense fashion with the costumes, the outfits, and the designs, it’s all storytelling and, again, multidiscipline artist is too much for me.  I’m just a storyteller.  I’m not a photographer.  There’s the technical aspects of a camera that I can’t tell you what to do.  I couldn’t tell you how to do this and that and I don’t know all the meanings, but I know how to tell a story through the lens, which is half the job there.

MD: I’m wondering, with that drive, that goal, and that ambition of what you can do through storytelling and photography, how do you balance that with when you’re starting out with say a new kind of tool, like photography?  And the part where you’re assumingly terrible.  I’m not sure if your first photograph was just wonderful, maybe it was, but how do you balance that, this is where I want to be, but this is where I am?

LC: It again comes back to ego, you know?  I would like to think that I’m never the greatest at anything, so I don’t know.  I think once people think they’re great at something, they get complacent.  And I think a lot of people love my photography, a lot of people probably don’t love my photography, that’s art, it’s subjective, but I’ve got to go in knowing that I’m not the best so I can continue to want to learn, and I think that was the thing with dancing.  I just lost all passion with dancing.  I wasn’t doing my classes, my warmup classes, I had no passion for it, I was like why do I need a warmup?  I went to the gym beforehand.  Not knowing that warmup class is for your technique.  Well, I did know that, but I just had no passion to better myself as a dancer in those last two years.

And now it’s like, okay.  And I think with photos as well, you’re always going to pick and choose, and I came across a photo the other day and I said to my partner, this is a photo that I absolutely love right now, but in the future I will pick it apart.  And I know that’s still the fact.  I was like okay, I absolutely love this photo, but there’s probably so many faults that I’m unaware of right now, and then I look back to it in two, three years’ time, and I’m just going to be like ooh, and I’ll probably go back and edit it the way I do in that given time. When it comes to art, let go of your ego.  You don’t have to be the best.  Just be the best you can be in that given time for your given skill level.  It’s fine.

MD: Oh, that’s such a great approach to learning, Luke.  I guess back to more of a routine element, I guess it can be struggle for a lot of creatives to balance working from home now for many people and relationships and health and all those other aspects, so what does that look like for you at the moment?

LC: Yeah, it’s a challenge that I think all of Australia is getting used to.  Ellie’s now working from home.  She’s working with her own admin, but also part-time with Force Majeure, a company here in Sydney, and they were lovely enough to set up her desk, like they brought her over a desk and the desktop from work and set it up in our house and so her domain is the living room at the moment, ‘cause we’re in a one-bedroom house here in Sydney, apartment, sorry.

So, her domain is basically the living room, kitchen, all out there and currently I’m in the bedroom underneath my blanket.  [Laughs].  So, it’s a challenge, but it’s also nice.  We see each other more, which again could have its ups and downs, but we’re navigating it as everyone is, I guess.  And what was the other part of that?  The health side of things?

MD: I actually sometimes like to think of this wonderful metaphor for life being like a stovetop, and there’s health, relationships, family, and work, and apparently there’s this theory that we can’t have all of those burners on at one time, and I always like to ask, what stovetops on or off?

LC: Unfortunately, my family burner for my mum, my dad, and my brother, to an extent, was on a very light simmer.  They live in Canberra and when I left Bangarra I wanted to get back there as much as possible and, coming up to Easter, that was the goal to go down there and so the other day we kind of turned that burner up a little bit from simmer to a little bit of mid-temp and we figured out a way that we could play, my mum’s favourite game was Yahtzee, so we played Yahtzee via FaceTime or Zoom or whatever it was at the time, just to try and ignite that family connection again.

But that was fun.  That was really a moment that kind of, in this time, made my heart melt a little bit, just to be able to connect like that and see their faces and it made me a bit emotional actually, ‘cause I miss that being with them.  And you realise that, as you get older, I think you miss those things and work gets in the way and that was the biggest thing, actually. 

At Bangarra I was sad and actually missing my family so much, you know?  So just to play Yahtzee with them over the internet was special, so we turned that back up, and I was like okay, we’ll do this every Tuesday now, every week we’ll play Yahtzee.  And they were like yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, and so hopefully it’s a little tradition that doesn’t stay too long, but we can play it in person.  But just to create those little things.

Health-wise, I’m a big gym fanatic and all the gyms are closed, so trying to adapt my workouts to the outside world is hard.  In saying that, I’ve been going to the park and just trying to run laps.  I’m not a long-distance runner, I’m usually short, like I’m fast-twitch 100-metre sprinter, so I’m trying to train myself to run minimum four kilometres.  At the moment, I’ve only got two and a half.  People are like, you only run two and a half kilometres, are you serious?  I’m like yeah, I do that struggling as well.  That’s not easy for me.

So the goal is for me to, by the end of this, whatever this period is, to get up to minimum four-kilometre run nonstop and chip it away there and just more so exercising to get out of the house now.  Not for any fitness goals really, apart from the four kilometres, but nothing like for Bangarra, where it was to stay nimble and to stay toned and trimmed and taught and all that stuff ‘cause you’re going to be on stage half-naked.  Now it’s like okay, out of the house, be active, go.

MD: Yeah.  Aw, thanks for painting a picture of your stovetop.  When you reflect on your days at the moment, what would you consider your weakness to be, be it a habit or be it a personality trait?

LC: I’m very stuck in my ways.  I think my weakness is if I have no interest in it, although it could benefit other practices that I do need, for instance grant writing, I will not pay any attention to it.  Like I’ll pay attention to it, it’s just really, I would not invest into it as something like I do with my photography.  The admin side of things, it’s just like aww.  I think that’s with everybody, but I’m like ahh, man, here we go.

So I think being open to things that I don’t necessarily like, even though it will benefit me in the future, needs to be better for me, and I’m learning that slowly now.  But also just stuck in my ways.  I know what I like, I know what I don’t want to do, and that’s… like if someone’s like do you want to go play a card game?  No, I don’t.  I don’t want to do that.  At all.  Not interested in it.  I won’t even pretend to be remotely interested in it.

MD: I suppose that can really be quite a strength in terms of setting boundaries and knowing what to say no to, but what do you think are the consequences of that “weakness”?

LC: It’s saying no straight away isn’t always the best thing to say, you know?  I never thought I’d go swimming with sharks, but now I love it, so there’s just things like that where I think I just… I don’t have to be more open to the world, I just have to kind of, okay, you know what you like, but what if you like this out there maybe?  Maybe if this makes the things you like even better?  I don’t know. 

MD: Yeah.  I wish you’d have included in your morning routine, I swim with sharks from 8 till 9.  [Laughs].

LC: [Laughs].  No, not in Australia.  People here make them sound more scary.

MD: This podcast is called Routines & Ruts.  You’ve said so many wonderful things to help people get through a rut or to rethink their routine, but is there any kind of final words you’d say to someone who is struggling right now?

LC: Man, I don’t know.  I straight away think of this young artist in Melbourne that was… she put up a story today saying, “Hey guys, sorry I haven’t got back to messages, I’m struggling a lot at the moment,” and I just sent her a message saying it’s okay.  I told her my experience, that I sometimes can’t get out of bed, I’m really struggling with my motivation to create things, it’s next to none.  But that’s okay. 

You don’t need to apologise for you feeling like shit.  You don’t need to apologise for a lack of motivation.  You don’t need to apologise to anyone.  And if that’s the energy, just embrace the energy you have right now.  Know that you’re going to get over it like a storm.  We’ll weather the storm together, this country, this world, we’ll get through it, and it’s okay to feel the way you’re feeling right now.  I just advise not to sit in that stormy weather for too long ‘cause there’s definitely a lot of sunshine to enjoy out there, even if it’s the smallest things.  For me, I live in between two huge skyscrapers and just watching the clouds go by through the little gap in the blue the other day was something that I kind of enjoyed, so finding the little things.  It might just be the smoothie in the morning. 

MD: I hope that you were able to be as inspired and maybe comforted by Luke Currie-Richardson as I was and maybe reflect on what it means to do your best during this time. 

I can’t emphasise enough how important it is to recognise we’re all experiencing this differently.  As Luke generously shared, some days it’s difficult to get out of bed before 2pm.  We might judge ourselves or feel guilty during this time for not doing enough or doing too much, but it’s comforting to know we aren’t alone in maybe not changing out of our pyjamas one morning or not feeling very focused or meditating or journaling or being productive all the time.

Doing your best doesn’t have to mean doing it perfectly.  Some days it means just living the day and putting aside any measures. So I wanted to share a little love note of sorts that I wrote the other day, mainly to remind myself that it’s okay not to do all of things.

I didn’t do the thing today.
I didn’t rise before seven.
I didn’t change.
I didn’t pen lines of stream of consciousness. 
I didn’t take my time with a purposeful ritual.
I didn’t diligently complete my tasks. 
I didn’t move stridently around the park. 
I didn’t write, I didn’t start, I didn’t finish. 
I didn’t achieve, I didn’t progress. And it didn’t matter. 
For doing a thing today isn’t the measure of a day.